All we really want is for someone to relate.

We just want to know that we’re not going through this alone, that there are other people out there feeling the same things were feeling, the pain, the sadness, the confusion, the guilt, the overwhelming feeling that we’re in over our head. We just want to know there’s someone else going through the same thing.

We want to be comforted by the fact that we’re not the only one who struggles. And that we’re not the only one who feels like those struggles will win. We want to know that there’s other people out there who have defeated them, that we can defeat our struggles too, just like they did.

We just want to connect. To bond with someone else who feels just as alone as we do, to reach the others who feel lonely and to let them know we’re here for them too.

We just want to feel understood. We want to be able to talk about our feelings and not have someone look at us like we’re crazy, like they have no idea how the things we’re feeling really feel, like they couldn’t even imagine.

We just want to belong. We want to be able to retreat somewhere we feel comfortable, somewhere we feel welcome with no judgement, somewhere that feels just as good as home.

Sometimes we just want to leave all of these feelings and worries behind, to leave our struggles behind, and everything else with them. Sometimes we wish our struggles would be the ones leaving, so we wouldn’t have to.

Because it seems no matter where we go, no matter where we try to escape to, these struggles come with us. They’re with us on that 8 hour drive, sitting in the back seat. They’re with us on that 3 hour flight, stealing the only available arm rest, and then once we get to wherever we’re going, they’re still there.

And no matter how annoying they are, no matter how much they follow us around, our struggles are a constant reminder of our resilience, of our strength and determination. Because we can’t just make our struggles disappear, and we can’t just leave them behind either, but we can deal with them, and we will.

And one thing that helps us deal with all of these problems, is knowing that we’re not the only ones who have them. You are not alone in your struggles, no matter how small and un-relatable you think they may be, no matter how sad or guilty or lost your struggles make you feel, there’s someone else out there feeling that same thing.

All we really want to know is that we’re not alone, and you’re not.



You keep telling yourself that you’re ugly,
How you can possibly love yourself cos everytime you look in the mirror,
You dont like what you see,
The pimples, dark spots, loose skin, gap between your teeth,
Over analyzing every single part of yourself,
Destroying your self esteem,
Constantly telling yourself how could anyone ever want you,
When even you don’t like yourself.

I wish I could make you understand that you’re perfect, just by being you,
and I’d tell you that every single day,
Till you start to believe it too,
And I mean it
I just wish you knew just how much I adore you,
How I love that even when you’re going through some of your toughest times,
You still put all your energy into putting on a smile and acting like everything’s fine.
Or how I think you’re brave, intelligent, gentle and kind
How you’re going to change the world someday with that incridible mind

I hate seeing you cry,
Because everytime you look into the mirror you see something you don’t like,
And I hate how much it hurts you every singe time,
I wish I could take your pain away,
Make you see what I see and then maybe you’d change your mind,
I hate watching you beat your thoughts up all the time
When are you going to realise that this ongoing battle you have with your mind,it’s a losing fight,
You’re literally destroying yourself from the inside.
Trying so hard to be something you’re not, when you’re already perfectly fine.
You’re a beautiful, walking, human sunshine in my eye.

You keep comparing yourself to others,
When are you going to understand that being yourself is enough,
You keep seeking validation from other people,
When, what you really need is self love,
Yes I know you dont have the perfect body, reality check, most people don’t,
So what’s the use in tearing yourself apart like this?
If you think it’s going to help you in anyway, well let me be the first to tell you – it won’t.

I’ll never understand how someone great,
Can think so little about themselves,
I watch you, unable to leave the house without dressing up well
Struggling to cope everyday,
And I just wanna be able to help.
You’ve reduced yourself to ugly,
You hide behind baggy clothes, watch what you eat,
Care so much about what people think that you can’t even walk down the street.
Self hate has filtered it’s way into every inch of your body.
And it kills me, to see someone I care about, be so incredibly unhappy.

I hope one day you can look in the mirror and live with what you see,
That it doesn’t hurt you so much anymore, cos you understand that you got more to offer to the world than simply being pretty,
No longer haunted by the scars on your skin,
But fights to be the change everyone wants to see.
But more importantly,
Right now, in this moment,
I want you to know, just how incredibly perfect you are to me!


Inner Self  ❤

The Soul Behind Every Skinny Girl

I am not saying everyone but
Slowly training to count every calorie.
They study numbers, sugar levels, different types of bodies
This ‘disease’ as people call it, has become intrinsically part of them, including me.
It controls every aspects of our lives,
How we live, breathe and sleep,
And to state the obvious, how little we eat.

I’m not going to sugar coat it,
And I’m not going to apologise for who I am,
People are always trying to make you look like the bad one.
Yet they never try to understand.
They talk about me like I’m not normal,
Make me out to be someone mad.
All I want to do is like the way I look, how could that possibly be bad?

We’ll might as well be honest, I haven’t had proper food in weeks.
I don’t have any friends and I barely get any sleep.
I’m essentially, a walking, breathing zombie.
Completely dead inside.
And only feel good about myself when I’m empty.

I don’t even feel hunger anymore,
I’ve become used to skipping meals and tracking calories
At first it was exciting, everything happened so fast,
I lose weight quickly
Seriously you should try it, it’s really easy, I say
I remember I felt so good about myself that first week.

But you wouldn’t understand,
You don’t want to help me, you’re just here to judge,
Just gonna talk behind my back like everyone else,
And say look at that girl, she’s so mentally messed up.

It’s never enough, is it?
You just keep pushing yourself and pushing yourself
Till eventually you become sick.
Coz you become attached to it,
The eating disorder I mean, cos its all you know, I’ve been there too
That was also the only thing that kept me going when I felt so alone before.

You wanna know how I feel?
Everytime I look at myself or I eat, I feel so ugly,
And they know that, yet they still force feed me,
Just like what they’re trying to do to you, they don’t understand.
I was thinking back then that if they really truly cared about what I wanted then they’d just let me be.

I got tired of everyone constantly wanting to help me
It’s my life, it’s my body.
Don’t I have a right?
And since when was it such a crime to want to be skinny?

I want people to see me and think – woah, I want to look like her,
I want to be adored,
It’s not enough to just exist in this life, I need something more.
I did all the things I thought was right, skipping meals, exercising.
Yet all I ever see are the same damn flaws and I can’t take it anymore.
Do you see girls over social media? I also want to look like that, they’re perfect.

When you’re skinny, people treat you differently.
It’s no longer something I just only crave, but something I need back then,
Being stick thin is the only version of beauty
I mean, where do you ever see girls who look like a duff on tv?
Everyone knows that the pinnacle of every girl’s dream,
Is to look like the models in high fashion magazine,
So everyone starves, skip meals, do whatever they need and like to do
Anything to reach the beauty society have
once they reach there goals,
they feel complete.
They finally able to look at theirselves and be happy.

You see the hipocrisy over our society?
This is how things been through within me before I realise I’m tired
Tired of conforming and so I quit.
Thanks to people you pushed me and force feed me.

So to whoever reading this and going through this hell as well
I’m telling you to quit,
Let yourself breathe.
Eat, enjoy and live.
Don’t force to fit in.
You’re perfect the way you are! ❤

“How are you?”

​I’m usually pretty good at putting on a mask, I mean I do it all the time

If anyone suspects something’s wrong, I shut them off with “I’m fine”

But these days I was really struggling, and I couldn’t find it within myself to force another smile.

It’s exhausting to keep up with this persona and I don’t want to live indenial.

But knowing that wasn’t an option I braced myself for another day

Feeling myself getting agitated, hoping it’d go away.

Everything was going wrong, I could feel myself about to burst.

Emotions rushing to the surface, preparing myself for the worst.

But then I saw someone starring, like he could see right through me,

Sensing something was wrong he walked right to me.

After a long pause he said ‘how are you? are you okay?’

I had been asked this question many times before but there was something about the way in which he said it that made me feel like he actually cared what I had to say.

Struggling to keep myself together I could feel my insecurities on display.

My walls were crumbling down, I had a lump in my throat,

My eyes were tearing up as I clenched on my cloth.

My mask was my safety net- it helped me get through each day

The only thing I could rely on, to cover up the hurt and pain

And now my safety net was gone, I couldn’t find the right words to say

Coz’ how do you tell someone you’re hurting, that you can’t remember the last time you’re okay.

I couldn’t help myself to shrug it off, I couldn’t get myself to lie

I couldn’t force myself to put on a smile, not this time I couldn’t make up some silly excuse, cause in this moment it didn’t feel right.

So I did the only thing I could, I broke down and cry.

He looked at me in a way no one has ever looked at me before,

He saw me with my guard down, the me no one ever saw,

He saw the bruised, the ugly, very humiliating flaw, and despite all of it he accepted me, and wanted to know more.

He didn’t try to fix me but listened and gave me the choice

And I didn’t want to run away this time, so gave my problem’s a voice

I talked and talked and talked whilst he listened patiently and gave me a safe space.

No judgement, no pretence just love and support, and through communications and patience we built up a rapport.

I had no idea how free it would feel to just get it off my chest,

After months of building up inside me, I could finally release and rest

Out of all the way of dealing with it, who knew communication would be the best.
For the first time in a long time, i fibally felt okay
Like I was heard and validated, like my feelings were justified in some way.
That it wasn’t just my fault and I had no reason to hide.

When I told all the anger out the pain had subside.
The burden inside offloaded and I’d felt a lot lighter
My perspective in life had changed and my world became brighter.

See, the thing is we didnt just talked.
But when we did we were connected.
He opened himself to me and made me feel safe,
So I’m extending the kindness further and hoping to do the same.

Things I’m learning as I get older

1. I’m learning that my power really lies in my reactions.I’m finally seeing that not every little thing that bothers me deserves a reaction. I’m learning that no matter what the outcome of a situation is, I’m always able to walk away from it with a better understanding of myself. I’m finally realizing how exhausting it is to react to every single bad thing that happens to me. And by simply letting something go, I’m allowing it to pass me by gracefully.

2. I’m learning to let things end when they need to. And to stop wasting my time and energy trying to make something work that isn’t meant to. I’m learning that by simply welcoming the ending of something can be a blessing in disguise. It can spark the beginning of something even better.

3. I’m learning that there’s nothing wrong with being emotional. I’m learning that being soft is something I should appreciate about myself. I’m seeing how incredible it can be to be in touch with my emotions. I’m seeing that if someone else isn’t comfortable with those emotions, they aren’t right for me. I’m seeing how beautiful it is being soft can be in such a bitter world. It means that despite all the heartbreaks, rejections, and failures I’ve faced, I’m still choosing to give my love freely with all I’ve got. And that itself is something worth celebrating.

4. I’m learning to stop letting people come and go from my life as they please. I am no longer allowing myself to be an open door, only for those looking for a temporary stay. And if they wanted a spot in my life, they wouldn’t have left in the first place. I’m learning that on-and-off relationships will never be fulfilling for me. I’m seeing how important consistency is. And when someone truly loves you, they will always show up for you. 

5. I’m learning to ditch the idea that my life should be aligned with what society deems as being perfect. I’m seeing how my own version of perfection is all I will ever need in order to be happy.

6. I’m finally learning the difference between want and need. And how sometimes it is easy to confuse the two.

7. I’m learning to unapologetically make mistakes. And no matter what, I should always try and make things right when I do. I’m am no longer a prisoner to my failures. I’m finally learning to let go of the past.

8. I’m learning how important it is to appreciate a moment before it passes me by. I’m learning how to be present, not only physically, but mentally too. I’m seeing how important it is to be present in whatever it is I’m doing in any given moment.

9. I’m learning to live my life without expectations. I’m realizing that expectations only bring disappointment.

10. I’m learning how to live comfortably with fear. I’m starting to welcome fear with open arms instead of running from it. I’m finally seeing how fear isn’t always a bad thing.

11. I’m learning there is always a lesson hidden underneath all the pain. And when you finally let go of that pain, you will uncover those lessons. I’m finally realizing pain is only temporary, even when it feels like it isn’t.

12. I’m learning that plans were made for adjusting. And that just because you took a different path, certainly doesn’t mean you went off track. I’m seeing how messy life can be. I’m finally learning to love my life for the mess that it is. 

1st of Forever

I don’t trust everything this life has to offer. I don’t cling to hopes and dreams of things that are sold by the materialistic puppeteers of this world anymore. I don’t know much about how anything in this world operates, nor the things you must do or obtain to be considered the world’s version of “happy” or “successful.”

Of all the things that I don’t know, of all the times my mind has been mixed up and not understood, of all the times I have struggled to relate to those that need to be a part of something to feel whole or complete, I know with every breath in my body, every atom of which makes me entire, of every heart beat that drums in my chest, it’s you.

My heart had claimed you long before I ever expected your laugh to become my absolute favorite sound in the world. I have carried you in a spot tucked away and hidden safely in my heart for years even when I didn’t always know it. Through everything life threw at me and every time my heart felt cold or lost. Somehow, I never let bitterness reach that spot, the spot that held onto the hope to find you and be with you again. I was never sure of the fact that the reason my mind would continuously pull you out of my memories, was because you were the one that I had been praying for.

I never knew what I was praying for back then, but I do know I got everything I ever dreamed of and more, a man who could hold me and I’d feel completely at home whether we were in a place of peace or lying in chaos. A man whose forehead kisses double as a button that can stop the world on its axis and set my mind right, leaving me warm and untouchable to outside disorder. A praying man who holds my hands and thankful for he has me.

 I found a man that became home. I found a man that knows things about me that I never even wrote in and a feeling of love I’d never read about even in the greatest love stories.

I could never express the love I have for you or the amount of gratitude I feel for my God that I am loved enough to be blessed with someone like you. The kind words you speak to me and about me, the encouraging life you speak into me, the gentleness and affection you show me by simply holding my hand is an incomprehensible reflection of God’s love for me.

So, because my heart has finally found yours after years of reaching for it, I hope that with every breath in your body, every atom in which makes you entire, with every heart beat that drums in your chest, its also me. I will cherish the person that you are and take care of your heart like it’s the most important thing in my possession, because it is.

Of all the things I don’t know, I know of these certain unshakable truths. My always and forever is you. I will choose you every day until my soul spills into eternity and I will love you until then and every day after.

I know we are just getting started. We still have a lot of challenges to face ahead but as long as we’re together we will be able to cope everything, not a single problem can break us. Know that from the deepest part of my heart, you are my comfort, my love, and my everything. Happy 1 month love, I hope to share more memories with you until forever. I LOVE YOU! ❤😍😘


I know it’s been a rough couple of days, weeks, months or even years, but see you’re still here! You have made it this far, and that’s really something! Amidst all the crap that’s been happening around, you are continuously surviving; you are not the same person as you were before, you are getting stronger and stronger each day! You have to give yourself credit for that.

I know how hard it is to fight a battle where your opponent is your own self, I completely understand how everyday feels like a surviving game, it’s like you’re alive but you’re not actually living; like you’re on a free fall, barely waiting for the time you hit rock bottom, or that you’ve already hit rock bottom but you just felt NUMB. Yes, that feeling of numbness, it’s when the pain is too much that you just felt, indifferent.

I know there are times that you feel like you are worthless and that no one would actually care even if you disappear into the face of the earth.

Even talking to your friends or loved ones is pointless because you feel like they might not understand what you are going through, you fear their judgments, so you just keep it all to yourself, you just completely shut down and detach yourself from everyone. There are times like you have this hollow sinking feeling inside your chest and you find it hard to fully function. You start to ask yourself that maybe its karma biting you?

You start to blame yourself, that if not for your wrong choices, your life would not be spiraling down. Sometimes, you just don’t know how to start your day because you feel hopeless. The guilt is gnawing every bit of hope you have within yourself, like you are slowly giving in to that dark force that has been lurking around you for quite a while. Sometimes you just want to escape from everything but you just can’t, it’s like you are trapped in your own version of hell.

I understand that depression is not that easy to overcome, you can’t just will yourself to snap out of it; but remember that you always have control over your emotions.

Feeling better takes time and a lot effort but you’ll get there! You are not alone. Everyone is fighting their own battles; everyone is messed up in their own ways. You might be tired of always hearing that “everything’s going to be ok”, but it will eventually, everything is going to make sense soon enough! You have to believe in it! Don’t give up on life! And most specially don’t give up on yourself!

You have to be patient with yourself. Stop the negativity. Give yourself a tap on the back after reading this. Everything will be fine. I got you, we got you! #keepgoing

In you I found home

I once read a quote saying “You can’t make homes out of humans,” but the moment my soul found yours, I knew deep down none of those words are ever true.

Having you wrapped around me is like coming home for the first time, each and every time. Calm, blissful, a perfect euphoria. I’ve never been comfortable around anyone else, as they were never familiar as yours.

In an instant glance at you, my heart pounds a little more. Yet, this is not simply a heartbeat, but also a music of joy my heart plays each time I lay my eyes on you.

Your hands are the perfect solace. Sending me a sense of relief each time it is entwined with yours.

You gave me a feeling I know I’ll never be able to experience with anyone else, because none of them really came close as you.

And no matter how much I explore the world with someone else by my side, those moments will be considered vacations, because even if I spend a lifetime with them, my heart and soul only knows one home. It is, and always will be you. 


Life is a rubrics cube. Designed of different colors and filled with twists and turns. But, at the end of the day everything lines up the way it is supposed to, creating a master piece.

Life is not always easy, and sometimes it cuts us down. It leaves us hurt to the core, scared to move forward, or to believe that we are simply not enough. In these times we must remember that thunder storms turn into rainbows, and the dark allows us to see the stars.

If you are feeling broken, if you are feeling lost, if you are feeling scared, this is my prayer to you. I pray you choose to see beyond the hurt, and to start again. I pray you roll your windows down, and feel the freedom in your hair. I pray you set your soul free from burden, and you allow it to run through your veins; fearless, wild, and free.

I pray that you fall in love with yourself again. That you realize the way you have to lounge into your skinny jeans is beautiful. The way that your nose scrunches when you laugh is stunning. The way you dance in your room at night is real. The tears you cry are genuine and pure.

I hope you know that it is okay to not be okay sometimes. Pain is not forever. Remember this. The most painful times often lead to the most essential growth.

I pray that you love yourself enough to let go of what hurts you. One of the most courageous acts that a person can make is to allow themselves to finally let go of what is hurting their heart and soul. I know that it hurts to let go, but sometimes it hurts a lot worse to hold on. I pray you can see that if a door is not opening for you, it just isn’t your door. There will always be a window or another way in.

I hope you can accept that life isn’t about fixing something that’s broken. It’s about starting over and creating something better for us. These mountains you are carrying with you, you were only supposed to climb and conquer.

I pray that when you are tired, you only rest and you do not give up.

Choose to find courage in being alone, because that is seizing an opportunity to focus on creating the best version of yourself and achieving greatness. The most beautiful people wear their hearts on their sleeves, their souls in their smiles, and pureness in their eyes.

In a world that can be so cruel, I pray that you choose to throw kindness like confetti. That you decide to be the change. I pray you realize that we rise by lifting others. That’s why we were born with two hands; one to lift others. One to lift ourselves.

All in all, happiness starts with your mind, with your thoughts. What you tell yourself every day.

See, your mind will believe everything you feed it. Fill it with love, feed it with faith, and feed it with truth.

For what it’s worth, it’s never too late to be who ever you want to be. Live a life you are proud of, and if you’re not I pray you find the strength to hit the reset button, and start over. 

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